This is the last day of a month that commemorates the Stonewall riots with LGBT pride events nationwide, and now, marriage equality. As of next June, this month also will be our wedding anniversary month. And while we happily will share a June anniversary with many celebrations and couples nationwide, the opportunity — this legal right — to have a wedding anniversary at all is one that I will not take for granted. The court decision was too close and the animosity too deep-seated. A note on why it matters to me.
David’s and my right to marry matters because our relationship is worthy of it, not because of some quest we have for ‘normalcy”. When your life has been spent in a world that ridicules who you are, is dismissive of your most intimate relationship and judges your personhood to be unworthy of equal protection – this victory is life-changing. This changes the way I feel about myself. The process of the person-on-the-inside fully & comfortably inhabiting that guy-on-the-outside’s skin can now include marriage for me, for us. Marriage won’t be for every lesbian or gay man, but today’s gay youth now will grow-up seeing their love matters equally – and seeing is believing.
For the children of same-sex couples it means less insecurity, less confusion, less bigotry to fear. Our 10 year old’s daily life hasn’t changed with this decision – as it should be — except now we get to plan on how best to have him participate in our ceremony – ! Marriage equality may indeed mean more children find stable and loving families as same-sex couples pursue parenthood.
I will enjoy this moment by remembering friends no longer living, some of whom I am certain would have thrown a fierce celebration party. One big shout out to our President…The White House with a rainbow — a rainbow — shining up on it. Thank you to Valerie Jarrett and The First Family.
Now what? I will use this ruling – this expansion of my civil rights – as motivation to help push further for a more complete equality. There remains so much to be done for the LGBT community, homeless youth, workplace discrimination, and closer to home – helping the wedding industry amend their documents and terminology and practices to be more inclusive and welcoming of me and my merry band of brothers and sisters.
A June to remember. Not a ‘normal’ June. For David and me, a more equal one. I am glad I got to be a part of it.